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Q: What is “speed dating”? 

A: Basically, it’s what dating should be: meeting new people for a few hours in a situation where you really do get to meet everyone; and interact with the kind of people that you might like to be with.

  - polyfido


If you have come to this article from the social activity page of PolyFi, please note that referring people to the articles on the front page is the best way I have found to get news out to folks. The notes on the social activity page don’t have much space, so we have to go somewhere else to inform people at length as to what is happening. This is that space; at least, for now.

    So it might pay to make it a habit to check out the “articles” on the front page because you might just find that the “articles” are really news items. This could be an important way for you to get up to the minute info; details about things that could make a very positive improvement to your life. This could be one of those “articles”.

    We put in an article about the Speed Dating event that happened on the 16th and 17th of April. It was an advertisement for the events as much as anything else. I checked, and no one found out about the event here, on the PolyFi site. That was the situation for the second event, at least. However, if the ad in Polyfi was in any way a factor in your going to the first event, we would like to know about it, please. 

    Two of us from the PolyFi committee went to the second event. (That’s the 3:00PM start event for the over forties). And this is my feedback: I had never been to a “speed dating” event before, and this is a first impression, without doing any research about this kind of thing at all.

    There was champagne on offer at the start; this helped to break the ice probably better than, say, a coffee or a tea. I think that it was a really brilliant way to start things.

    I wont bore you with the details of the kind of activities that went on, but there were a lot. The overall effect was to get everyone out of their shell. We all had an opportunity to reveal more of who we were in various role plays and exercises. All this happened in a non-threatening environment specifically tailored for us poly people.

    The whole thing took over three hours. I felt that there was enough interaction with enough people to decide if I wanted to follow up with anybody, or not.

    At the end of the event, everyone was handed a list with the names of all the others on it. We all had a name tag so it was easy to remember who was who. If one of us wanted to contact anyone else afterward, it was simply a matter of putting a tick in a box next to the name of that person. If that person felt the same way, they too, could put a tick next to that name. 

    Then it’s just a case of matching up the ticks and exchanging contact details. The organisers were in charge of all that; and I can’t imagine that they would do anything to mess that up. Having an independent person doing this is probably the best option. I got my personal email today, so I am sure that everything works as it should.

    So how fast is speed dating? I think that it is probably one of the fastest ways of meeting up with like minded people that you could come across. 

    Poly friendly people need to realise that they are a small minority compared to the population at large. There seems to be a consensus among poly people who have tried to convert monogamous people: it plain does not work. If a monogamous person has spent enough time to look into the reality of the lifestyle, and then has a conversion, that is another story. But that doesn’t happen much.

    That fact of life means that it is much easier for poly people if there is some sort of mechanism to attract poly people only, and not the vast majority of people who are not interested at all, and never will be interested in polyamory.

    If people in Bendigo, or anywhere else, want to meet more people who are interested in polyamory, organising a speed dating event could be the way to go.

    It really is just a question of numbers. Are there enough poly people in Bendigo to attend an event like this?






Comments on Speed Dating, Anyone?

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+1 #2 2016-06-03 13:45
Sounds like a lovely way to spend an evening! My only concern is, why the age restriction? In a community that is already so small doesn't this just further reduce the crowd.. My personal thought is that although there may be less of a connection between individuals if you open the age up, the group with grow stronger. Friendships will form, attracting more people, a buzz would hopefully slowly start so to speak..
Our community needs to grow, make contact with those considering the lifestyle but unsure where to look for support or sense of place, connect those poly people who live remotely, make sure people who profess to being poly have their head in the game and are active within the community, start a dialogue with those around us (even on a personal level), normalise it.
I think poly-events should emphasis this inclusive nature of the lifestyle. I understand completely why an age restriction seems appealing, but we need to be networking ... we can hook up later ;)
..either way great post a step in the right direction in any case! good luck!
#1 Tastiger 2016-04-21 15:27
Was it genuine look for a long term partner or just an excuse to make a quick hookup?

To work properly this sort of thing would have to organised around couples, quads etc, how are looking to expand their families being able to "speed date" singles

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