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  • 'Poly' & “The Project”

    We are talking about a piece on the poly lifestyle on “The Project” on TV; on Channel 10 for Melbourne viewers. The show first went to air at 6:30PM on the 26th of May, 2015, to be exact; though there was a replay later on in the evening. You can view the poly segment itself, on the podcast page of The Project section of the Ten website.
    Polyamory doesn't get much publicity on mainstream media, and it was good to see that this segment showed polyamory in what some of us thought was quite a positive light.
    Polyamory has been around for a very long time. In Australia, Carl Turney was probably the most interviewed spokesman for polyamory during the early 1990's. He had quite a few interviews in the mainstream media across the nation in that era. In those days, the reportage tried to sensationalize polyamory by drawing attention to the sexual aspects of the lifestyle. This, despite Carl's best attempts to steer all the interviews in a less salacious direction.
    These days, sex and sexual infidelity is not such a big deal. Is it any wonder? The lid really has come off. Sex is a common media theme in many walks of life.
     Thankfully, the Australian public was spared the bitchy comments and lewd innuendos from the panel after this particular segment; something that would undoubtedly have happened even a few years ago.
     A few of us had an informal chat after the show, too; If there was a theme in what we had to say, it was the fact that polyamory can be so much more than sexual relations with more than one other person. The essence of the lifestyle lies in the fact that relationships can become more dynamic and rich between all parties in a polyamorous situation.
    Clearly, in the show, and in the experience of those of us who have been in the polyamory lifestyle, sex did play a vital role in the initial stages of relationships in the beginning. But life moves on, things change, people change, and the sexual exuberance of a new relationship can give way to much more deep and subtle nuances.
  • Me’n Polyamory

    By PolyFido

    I must have been around nine at the time. Or was it ten? I heard some boys talking behind my back about a girl who was described as “the local bike”. I thought I knew what that meant, and I knew who “she” was; but I didn’t know that “she” was having sex with anyone, let alone that “she” was having sex with more than one boy.

    All that I knew about her up until then was that she was attractive and confident; a kind of goddess in the background of my life at school. She was often there but never close by. I liked her...at a distance. As a matter of fact, I liked her a lot; everything about her. Rather than thinking less of this girl for having sex with more than one boy, she went up in my estimation. I just wished that I could be one of the lucky ones. But I was too young. I was still a kid, and she was a voluptuous young woman already; mature beyond her years.

    But this remark that I overheard by chance set me thinking about my values regarding sex and love. For a start, I thought that the kids who were talking about this girl in such a demeaning way were probably not among ‘the lucky ones’. I was sure that none of them had had sex with her. They were younger, like me. If any of them had had her, I thought that they deserved a good kick up the arse for betraying this nubile goddess in such a vicious way.
    Even if they were mad with jealousy, why weren’t they grateful that such a person existed...in their small town; someone so courageous and generous of spirit that she was willing to take on the risks of having sex before it was even legal, let alone safe! Did she do it for money? The question never entered my head.

    I made up my mind at that time that, if I should ever be lucky enough to find someone whom I truly loved, that I would let her have the boyfriends she wanted. From that time onward, I truly believed that a lover was somebody that deserved gifts and respect. And if the gift that a lover wanted was another lover...or maybe even more than one, well, if it made her happy, then what was the problem, besides the obvious?

    I soon learned that having more than one lover was not a socially acceptable thing to do. Yes, you could change girlfriends and boyfriends, but the rule was that you only had one at a time. The done thing was to break up and move on. Anything else was taboo. It meant that someone was ‘cheating’. The word hasn’t changed, and neither have the attitudes.

    So, reluctantly, I embarked on a course of serial monogamy, just like everyone else I knew. That lasted right through my twenties. I didn’t like it. To me, the whole idea of a monogamous sexual relationship with just one person, for life, was crazy. I could not see how it would possibly work for either me or the vast majority of people. It seemed like monogamy was a kind of straight-jacket that everyone had to accept so that society would function. In the decades since then, the divorce statistics seem to back the views that I had as a boy.

  • New Year Poly Party & Campout

    It's on again by popular demand...!!! and in leiu of Confest - the ultimate alternative lifestyle fest which has been cancelled this year.... So we are bringing it back... all the best of confest and camping, poly friendly village, families and pets welcome......

     

    Hot Tub under the stars, hot shower & toilets available, plenty of shade set on a picturesque 10 acre farmlet in Mandurang, walking distance to Lynnvale Winery, kangaroos & donkies,, bushwalking, camp cooking plus farm activites. Cooking gear, pots, pans, dishes, BBQ, fridge etc provided......

    WHAT TO BRING ;- BYO, FOOD TO SHARE, TENT, SLEEPING STUFF, CAMP CHAIRS, FOOTWEAR FOR BUSHWALKING, SUNSCREEN ETC.... CLOTHING OPTIONAL !

    *** Your hosts; HELEN & GARY ***

    Location : 64 Pentlands Road, Mandurang. Bendigo, Vic

    HELD OVER 5 GLORIOUS DAYS n NIGHTS


    Tues 30th Dec to Sat 3rd of Jan.... 2014 - 2015
    more info join our PolyOz Group on the PolyFi web site:

    polyfidelity.org.au/community/user-s-zon...oup/3-polyoz-bendigo

  • Poly is the New Gay

    Keeping up with social change is exciting, and important. There is a growing awareness of polyamory as a way to form relationships and families, and it is on the frontier of social change in acceptance of relationships. The more aware and accepting of diversity in relationships the more healthy our society is. It is not to be confused with polygamy, which is associated with religious laws that permit multiple wives, and does not have the same emphasis on an individual's autonomy and agency.

    There was a time, not too many decades ago, when homosexuality was classified as a mental illness, to be out was more dangerous than not, and discrimination was both expected and condoned. To acknowledge a same sex relationship was unthinkable. We have come a long way since then, and still have a long way to go.

    I do not wish to diminish or underplay the ongoing challenge presented by homophobia, and the need for equality for same sex relationships in many aspects of law, but same sex attraction is now accepted as mainstream. It is not hard to find scholarly studies of all aspects of same sex relationships, and everyday media mostly treats homosexuality as a normal variation of the human condition. There are public campaigns against homophobia, and quality sexuality education makes no assumptions about sexual orientation and teaches respect for difference.