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  • 'Poly' & “The Project”

    We are talking about a piece on the poly lifestyle on “The Project” on TV; on Channel 10 for Melbourne viewers. The show first went to air at 6:30PM on the 26th of May, 2015, to be exact; though there was a replay later on in the evening. You can view the poly segment itself, on the podcast page of The Project section of the Ten website.
    Polyamory doesn't get much publicity on mainstream media, and it was good to see that this segment showed polyamory in what some of us thought was quite a positive light.
    Polyamory has been around for a very long time. In Australia, Carl Turney was probably the most interviewed spokesman for polyamory during the early 1990's. He had quite a few interviews in the mainstream media across the nation in that era. In those days, the reportage tried to sensationalize polyamory by drawing attention to the sexual aspects of the lifestyle. This, despite Carl's best attempts to steer all the interviews in a less salacious direction.
    These days, sex and sexual infidelity is not such a big deal. Is it any wonder? The lid really has come off. Sex is a common media theme in many walks of life.
     Thankfully, the Australian public was spared the bitchy comments and lewd innuendos from the panel after this particular segment; something that would undoubtedly have happened even a few years ago.
     A few of us had an informal chat after the show, too; If there was a theme in what we had to say, it was the fact that polyamory can be so much more than sexual relations with more than one other person. The essence of the lifestyle lies in the fact that relationships can become more dynamic and rich between all parties in a polyamorous situation.
    Clearly, in the show, and in the experience of those of us who have been in the polyamory lifestyle, sex did play a vital role in the initial stages of relationships in the beginning. But life moves on, things change, people change, and the sexual exuberance of a new relationship can give way to much more deep and subtle nuances.
  • 10 Tips for High School Graduates

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  • A tale of two lovers (or three, or four):

    --The truth about polyamory

    At 19, Emer O’Toole had a boyfriend and a girlfriend – but no word for the arrangement. Now, like a growing number of people, she does: polyamory. She and her friends reveal what life is like with more than one lover

    Last summer, at a friend’s birthday, a man sat next to me, explained that he’d heard I was polyamorous and asked if we could talk about it. He proceeded to explain that he’s a poly person at heart, but that his partner would never go for it: that’s why he cheated on her. I asked if he’d tried communicating about the kind of relationship he really wanted. No. He couldn’t. His partner was too traditional, too closed-minded. I asked how he’d feel if she became romantically involved with someone else. This was a moot point – she would simply never do that. Oh dear.

    Polyamory is usually described as ethical non-monogamy – that is, non-monogamy with the consent and knowledge of all involved. But, of course, there are infinitesimal interpretations of that. Whose ethics? Which actions need consent? What exactly do we want or need to know?

  • Influence of the Science Fiction Writings of Robert A. Heinlein on Polyamory

    originally published by Serolynne, March 21, 2005

    The concept behind polyamory, or the lifestyle of openly and honestly loving more than one person at a time, has been around for much longer than the word itself.  But with the advent of the internet and a term to draw people together, polyamory has become a movement of its own. The Ravenheart family, who formed a ‘nest’ and a church based on the writings of Robert A. Heinlein, are frequently credited with coining the term ‘polyamorous’. Because a word was created, people of like minds are now able to partake in a community that has resulted from the polyamory movement. Even today, more than 40 years after the influential works of Heinlein were published, people still point to reading Heinlein’s science fiction writings as the catalyst that brought them to exploring polyamorous lifestyles.

    Robert A. Heinlein is a recognized science fiction writer, who wrote short stories, novellas and novels from 1939 until 1987 . His writings often questioned various social and political norms.

    In 1961, Heinlein published Stranger in a Strange Land, about a human raised on Mars who returns to Earth, bringing along some alternative views on sexuality, relationships and spirituality.  “Robert Heinlein depicts a group where bacchanalia, mate-swapping, and communal living are wholly moral”. The fictional Martian, Valentine Michael Smith, formed the Church of All Worlds for his followers who subscribed to his theories on spirituality and relationships. Nesting, or forming intricate webs of intimate connections in a group of church members, was presented as a valid social structure in the book.

  • Influence of the Science Fiction Writings of Robert A. Heinlein on Polyamory

    originally published by Serolynne, March 21, 2005

    The concept behind polyamory, or the lifestyle of openly and honestly loving more than one person at a time, has been around for much longer than the word itself.  But with the advent of the internet and a term to draw people together, polyamory has become a movement of its own. The Ravenheart family, who formed a ‘nest’ and a church based on the writings of Robert A. Heinlein, are frequently credited with coining the term ‘polyamorous’. Because a word was created, people of like minds are now able to partake in a community that has resulted from the polyamory movement. Even today, more than 40 years after the influential works of Heinlein were published, people still point to reading Heinlein’s science fiction writings as the catalyst that brought them to exploring polyamorous lifestyles.

    Robert A. Heinlein is a recognized science fiction writer, who wrote short stories, novellas and novels from 1939 until 1987 . His writings often questioned various social and political norms.

    In 1961, Heinlein published Stranger in a Strange Land, about a human raised on Mars who returns to Earth, bringing along some alternative views on sexuality, relationships and spirituality.  “Robert Heinlein depicts a group where bacchanalia, mate-swapping, and communal living are wholly moral”. The fictional Martian, Valentine Michael Smith, formed the Church of All Worlds for his followers who subscribed to his theories on spirituality and relationships. Nesting, or forming intricate webs of intimate connections in a group of church members, was presented as a valid social structure in the book.

  • polyamory based love

    Just what exactly is polyamory, anyway?

     

    Sometimes, in the course of human events, one needs to go back and clarify one's definitions.  For the term and concept "polyamory," now seems like just such a time: Sex at Dawn has brought the idea of humans as a non-monogamous species into the mainstream, Canada's case against polygamy has brought polyamorous families to the forefront, and people who are interested in multiple intimate emotional entanglements are still struggling to differentiate themselves from swingers.

    But polyamory can mean so many things to so many people that some people are struggling to make sure the definition doesn't become too broad.  The Polyamory Paradigm blog, for instance, finds that poly-tantra activist Janet Kira Lessin's descriptions of six-way orgies at the Poly Living Conference seem more swinger-like than poly-like.  Alan at Polyamory in the News has expressed concerns that with the gradual mainstreaming of polyamory, people will try it in uninformed and dishonest ways and make the lifestyle look naive and impossible to those being exposed to it for the first time.  Even Deborah Anapol, pioneer of polyamory in the '80s and author of the original Love Without Limits, allows for the labeling of open or potentially open marriages as "new monogamy."

  • Me’n Polyamory

    By PolyFido

    I must have been around nine at the time. Or was it ten? I heard some boys talking behind my back about a girl who was described as “the local bike”. I thought I knew what that meant, and I knew who “she” was; but I didn’t know that “she” was having sex with anyone, let alone that “she” was having sex with more than one boy.

    All that I knew about her up until then was that she was attractive and confident; a kind of goddess in the background of my life at school. She was often there but never close by. I liked her...at a distance. As a matter of fact, I liked her a lot; everything about her. Rather than thinking less of this girl for having sex with more than one boy, she went up in my estimation. I just wished that I could be one of the lucky ones. But I was too young. I was still a kid, and she was a voluptuous young woman already; mature beyond her years.

    But this remark that I overheard by chance set me thinking about my values regarding sex and love. For a start, I thought that the kids who were talking about this girl in such a demeaning way were probably not among ‘the lucky ones’. I was sure that none of them had had sex with her. They were younger, like me. If any of them had had her, I thought that they deserved a good kick up the arse for betraying this nubile goddess in such a vicious way.
    Even if they were mad with jealousy, why weren’t they grateful that such a person existed...in their small town; someone so courageous and generous of spirit that she was willing to take on the risks of having sex before it was even legal, let alone safe! Did she do it for money? The question never entered my head.

    I made up my mind at that time that, if I should ever be lucky enough to find someone whom I truly loved, that I would let her have the boyfriends she wanted. From that time onward, I truly believed that a lover was somebody that deserved gifts and respect. And if the gift that a lover wanted was another lover...or maybe even more than one, well, if it made her happy, then what was the problem, besides the obvious?

    I soon learned that having more than one lover was not a socially acceptable thing to do. Yes, you could change girlfriends and boyfriends, but the rule was that you only had one at a time. The done thing was to break up and move on. Anything else was taboo. It meant that someone was ‘cheating’. The word hasn’t changed, and neither have the attitudes.

    So, reluctantly, I embarked on a course of serial monogamy, just like everyone else I knew. That lasted right through my twenties. I didn’t like it. To me, the whole idea of a monogamous sexual relationship with just one person, for life, was crazy. I could not see how it would possibly work for either me or the vast majority of people. It seemed like monogamy was a kind of straight-jacket that everyone had to accept so that society would function. In the decades since then, the divorce statistics seem to back the views that I had as a boy.

  • Poly is the New Gay

    Keeping up with social change is exciting, and important. There is a growing awareness of polyamory as a way to form relationships and families, and it is on the frontier of social change in acceptance of relationships. The more aware and accepting of diversity in relationships the more healthy our society is. It is not to be confused with polygamy, which is associated with religious laws that permit multiple wives, and does not have the same emphasis on an individual's autonomy and agency.

    There was a time, not too many decades ago, when homosexuality was classified as a mental illness, to be out was more dangerous than not, and discrimination was both expected and condoned. To acknowledge a same sex relationship was unthinkable. We have come a long way since then, and still have a long way to go.

    I do not wish to diminish or underplay the ongoing challenge presented by homophobia, and the need for equality for same sex relationships in many aspects of law, but same sex attraction is now accepted as mainstream. It is not hard to find scholarly studies of all aspects of same sex relationships, and everyday media mostly treats homosexuality as a normal variation of the human condition. There are public campaigns against homophobia, and quality sexuality education makes no assumptions about sexual orientation and teaches respect for difference.

  • Poly is the New Gay

    Keeping up with social change is exciting, and important. There is a growing awareness of polyamory as a way to form relationships and families, and it is on the frontier of social change in acceptance of relationships. The more aware and accepting of diversity in relationships the more healthy our society is. It is not to be confused with polygamy, which is associated with religious laws that permit multiple wives, and does not have the same emphasis on an individual's autonomy and agency.

    There was a time, not too many decades ago, when homosexuality was classified as a mental illness, to be out was more dangerous than not, and discrimination was both expected and condoned. To acknowledge a same sex relationship was unthinkable. We have come a long way since then, and still have a long way to go.

    I do not wish to diminish or underplay the ongoing challenge presented by homophobia, and the need for equality for same sex relationships in many aspects of law, but same sex attraction is now accepted as mainstream. It is not hard to find scholarly studies of all aspects of same sex relationships, and everyday media mostly treats homosexuality as a normal variation of the human condition. There are public campaigns against homophobia, and quality sexuality education makes no assumptions about sexual orientation and teaches respect for difference.

  • Polyamory - Definitions

     

    Polyamory is a hybrid word: poly is Greek for many and amor is Latin for love. It has been independently coined by several people, including Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart whose article "A Bouquet of Lovers" (1990) is widely cited as the source of the word, and Jennifer Wesp who created the Usenet newsgroup alt.polyamory in 1992. However, the term has been reported in occasional use since the 1960s, and even outside polygamous cultures such relationships existed well before the name was coined; for one example dating from the 1920s, see William Moulton Marston.

  • Scope of the Term "Polyamory"

     

    No single written definition of "polyamory" has universal acceptance. It is generally agreed that polyamory involves multiple consensual, loving relationships (or openness to such), but beyond that the term is as ambiguous as the word love itself. 

    Some object to the idea that one must currently be participating in multiple relationships to be considered polyamorous. Others would consider their relational outlook polyamorous, regardless of whether they happen to be single or in an exclusive relationship at the time. A relationship is more likely to be called "polyamorous" if at least one relationship is long-term, involves some sort of commitment (e.g. a formal ceremony), and involves shared living arrangements and/or finances, but none of these criteria are necessary or definitive.

  • sex geekdom

    Sex Geekdom Bendigo Has a Book Night

     ‘Sex geek’ or ‘sex nerd’ is an identification used by many people in the sex-positive community to describe their unusual, academic, and/or voracious interest in sexual knowledge. This interest extends well beyond that which would simply improve one’s own sex life. While clearly this kind of scholarship would likely lead to better sex for the individual, sex geeks like to learn about sex for the sake of learning about sex. There are sex geek groups around the world in Australia, Brazil, Canada, Mexico, New Zealand and the USA. Find them through sexgeekdom.com

    The Bendigo sex geeks meet monthly and are organised mostly via a Facebook page. It is a closed group, and if you would like to join ask via Facebook. Sometimes we meet in a pub, sometimes in a private home and we try to vary the activities. In October we had a book night where people were asked to bring a book that related to sex. We discussed the different books and how they had influenced our lives, or what it was about why we liked them. It was a great way to reflect on formative experiences, learn new things and admire gorgeous erotic drawings.

  • Wonder Woman's Dirty Past

    -- How Polyamory Birthed the First Female Superhero

    Originally Published Aug 12th 2010 -Asylum

    The fabulously femme fighter for justice, Wonder Woman, is nearing her 70th birthday, but her gorgeous image is still going strong.  Ask almost any American and they'll say they know Wonder Woman as the first female superhero, a muscular yet deliciously curvy Amazon in a red white and blue bikini with gold accents, a lasso of truth, and bracelets that stop bullets.  But not too many people know her origins in a polyamorous triad, revealed recently in the book, Eureka! The Surprising Stories Behind the Ideas That Shaped the Worldby Marlene Wagman-Geller.
    William Moulton Marston was a Renaissance man: He earned a law degree and a doctorate in psychology, and published "Emotions of Normal People." He also made a significant scientific contribution when his wife, Elizabeth, remarked to him that when she "became angry or excited her blood pressure seemed to climb." This sparked an idea in her husband, resulting in his developing of the polygraph (otherwise known as the lie detector).
                  William Moulton Marston & Family

    In 1940, Olive Byrne (his former student from Tufts) interviewed Dr. Marston for the magazine Family Circle. The piece was titled "Don't Laugh at the Comics," and in it he promoted the concept that comics possessed educational potential as they at least got kids reading. The article caught the attention of Maxwell Charles Gaines, who hired Marston as a consultant for his company, DC Comics.

    William wanted to create a superheroine who would serve as a role model for girls. For his inspiration he needed to look no farther than his wife, Elizabeth (Sadie) Holloway Marston.