I made a choice - let me back up, does anyone have this thing where you have this idea of who you think you are, but then society turns you away so you make that conscience decision to pretend.. because maybe if I act 'Normal' for long enough then I could eventually fool myself into being happy.
okay so I was fooling myself to thinking I could fool me in that way. I've struggled to give myself an identity, one that can be accepted and just maybe I could even be lucky to not be the only one struggling. Identity is a fickle thing - to have your own identity is totally fine, as long as society is okay with it... so nothing weird?? Right so I feel normal, but normal is only normal if normal fits in with what society conceives as being normal. That's a mouthful but also where does that put me?
I found PolyFi along my search for truth - a proposed community where it seems to piece everything together. For a fleeting moment I felt normal, like I'm not the only one, could this be? Apparently no... like the 'community' here is fairly empty - so I know Polyfidelity exists, just not as much here in Australia. I live in Newcastle and Ive got nothing in the way of support.
But I got to thinking, and there is no way that I'm the only one. It's just people out there are struggling to come to terms with who they are, or they already have but feel just as alone as I am. Can I be the one to reach out and say that your not alone and you are normal just as much as everyone else. Why I say this is because it's what I would like said to me, and that hasn't happened.
So this is the choice I have made and it's partly accepting who I really am - but also opening it up as a way of life. Hopefully bringing more people into it who feel the same way, maybe become a community here in Newcastle?