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Polyfidelity 101

An introduction to the Poly lifestyle

Thank you for reading this series, and for your patience in waiting a whole month for each new instalment of it.  More importantly, thanks for taking an interest in polyfidelity itself.  We're a very small part of the population, but (after trying nearly all of the “alternative lifestyles”) I think it's the very best -- for myself at least, and possibly for you too.


It's very important to understand the purpose of these articles (and most of the other things you can find on the PolyFi website).  They are general information or own experiences, for your personal growth.  They are definitely not therapeutic.  If you feel (especially if it's ongoing) that you need help or guidance, or that your emotions are intensely painful, then please:  Contact a supportive and formally-qualified professional (described below).  Don't feel the least embarrassed.  It doesn't indicate any shortcomings on your part. Alternative lifestyles can be extremely painful, as well as extremely rewarding.

I'm Carl.  I have qualifications in healthcare and teaching, and have been studying and living the lifestyles of polyamory and polyfidelity since 1977.  But I'm not trained, qualified, or licensed in psychology, relationship counselling, or anything like them.  For such help, be sure you're using someone competent:  Are they currently licensed by a government agency?  Are they a current full member of a professional association that has strict criteria and a code of conduct?  Do they hold a post-graduate degree (e.g. Grad Dip, Masters, PhD) from a mainstream university?  Are they willing to “catch up” on polyamory/polyfidelity, and not assume it's necessarily a harmful or dysfunctional lifestyle?  If not, I suggest you just keep looking.

By the way:  If you are such a professional, why not contact us about a professional listing on the PolyFi website?  It would make it easier for all concerned.

Thanks to the poly experiences I've lived, the countless discussions and meetings I've attended, and the many books and articles I've read (or been quoted in) over the last 38 years:  The information in this series is probably very high quality.  But it's also biased by my own limitations (beliefs, priorities, age, gender, culture, etc.).  So it is definitely not “the only” or even “the best” that you could find, for your own situation.

I personally think the next 8 topics are pearls of wisdom.  (You can get a preview of them all by reading Topic 1, on the PolyFi website.)  But take them “with a grain of salt” (an old saying -- check UrbanDictionary).  That's what thinking and living for ourselves is all about.


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